Yeah... I say dumb things. Here is proof.
K: "But the question is, did they mumify what was _in_ the Pope's intestine?" T: "...Holy S---!" -Ken and Tim after hearing about how they mumified a piece of the Pope's colon they removed during the surgery following his assasination attempt |
T: "I fit in my truck. Thus, it's not too small." B: "Tim Toll, smaller than a sheet of drywall." T: "And slightly more exciting." -Tim and Brad, about Tim's truck, which is too small to fit sheets of drywall |
"What you didn't see was the bottle of champagne hidden in his mouth." -Tim, regarding Brad's story of a monkey who would hide a piece of a coathanger in his mouth and actually pick the lock on his cage at night--in order to go visit the cage of the female monkey nearby |
T: "It had better be naked women!" -Tim, to Ken's "check your email, you're gonna like what you see"--it was an email about a Linux hand-held computer |
"And if she was here, you could ignore her more effectively!" -Tim Toll, encourageing Brad to invite his wife to stay at Big Idea while Brad works late--Brad was having trouble paying attention while on the phone with her |
A: "Ok, how about if she is 10 years older, but looks younger and can bear children well into her 40's..." T: "Yeah, but how long will she look younger? When I hit 60 and she... Well, I'd better go senile before she goes ugly." -Alan and Tim, as Alan tries to set Tim up with a friend of his wife. |
"Large, sweaty men in tights..._they're_ Thesbians" -Tim Toll, on the WWF |
R: "Have you been watching the thing on Nightline about drug trafficking?" T: "Watching it? I've been living it!" -Rob and Tim |
"Homer...I'll tell you what...bless him!" -Tim, in a discussion about the Simpsons characters |
"Someday...I will be that lucky" -Tim Toll, on how Buddy's wife "forced him to take a nap on Saturday" |
"So, Ken are you sure you still want to get married? It's just an extra disease carrier in the house." -Tim, on Paul's news that his wife now has the virus that he and his kids just got over |
B: "Tim Toll! Is something broke?" T: "...Yes...my internal clock." -Buddy and Tim as Buddy walked in early and found that Tim was already here |
"Pay attention to me when I throw your poop!" -Tim speaking to his video game monkey-avatar in his new game "Black and White" |
"Sounds like my attitude toward my parents!" -Tim, to Pat's comment on a network scheme, "it's like, 'shut up and don't say anything until you need something'" |
"No! There's other things back there that I want to stay back there!" -Tim, as Brad was about to tap the back of Tim's head to bring to the front the solution to a problem Tim knew was "somewhere back there, in the back of my mind" |
"You know me, poet laureate of techdev." -Tim Toll |
"If she could spit through walls, she'd hit me." -Tim Toll, on how close Jen's aparment is to his own |
"Yeah, but you've got to click right _here_" (pointing to a part of his body) -Tim, on the fact that the site whitehouse.com (a porn site...we've heard) does provide a link to whitehouse.gov (the one in DC) |
"Sure... I may look good, but I've got no content." -Tim, referring to himself... |
T: "Are you saying there are reasons you're not married?" P: "Yeah, the reason is because you're too young." T: "...Well...thank heavens!" -Tim and Patty, discussing a marriage tape series |
"...I said You're _keeping_ us honest. I never said that you _were_ honest...I'd never accuse you of that!" -Tim, to Ken's description of himself as "Passionate, yes, honest...I don't know about that..." |
"That's the problem, the average person is a moron. Especially those that don't agree with me. Don't you agree Buddy?" -Tim and Buddy debating "Democracy" during the 2000 presidental election voting recounts |
"It's either lick or click. I prefer the click method" -Tim, about paying bills online or using stamps |
"I'd let people shoot my kids." -Tim Toll, about whether to make a proposed paintball outing a family thing |
"I want one!...and the shirt too." -Tim Toll, to Brad's story about how Amy Nordell bought a T-shirt for her Harley-riding husband that says on the back "if you can read this, then the b---- fell off" |
"I have other names for her!" -Tim, to Dan's "She's a leek," answering the questions people have of what vegetable Esther is |
"That's not just a bone, that's a precious bone, that's like a rib! I could have created a woman from this but I gave it to you!" -Tim, about the 10 processors he let the Penguins team use during the Esther render crunch |
J: "Did you get the note about those two layers?" T: "It's hard to ignore, but I'm doing a good job." Jen and Tim, (Tim sitting at his computer, reading web pages _around_ a sticky note stuck in the middle of his screen) |
"I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful women who want to procreate with me... but the government is preventing them." -Tim, suspecting conspiracy regarding future generations of Toll's |
"Man...I was in the wrong major" -Tim, after Buddy described being shocked by actresses who would immediately start changing clothes right off stage |
"I've wanted to order pizza the last two nights, but I've been too lazy." -Tim Toll |
"Every now and then I have to stop and ask myself how _I_ would solve a problem like Maria." -Tim Toll |
"That's where you're wrong! Computers have feelings. Toasters do not..." -Tim Toll |
"Did she make the "tired of fighting sound," `cause that's when you know you won." -Tim talking about marriage proposing |
"If that was my inner self, I wouldn't want to know me!" -Tim, about the Pink tutu guy who shows up to Siggraph(tm) every year |
K: "The field is ripe for harvest!" T: "But it's hard to develop a meaningful relationship over a weekend..." K: "With a screaming teenager" -Tim and Ken about the Ichthus concert weekend |
"I'm sure glad I was not born a slug" -Tim Toll about how he loves corn chips with plenty of salt |
S: "Look babe, you've got 3 weeks and then I get married again" T: "Yeah, so make it good!" -Scott and Tim, what Scott would say to his new wife if all the weddings Scott has been going to recently were his own |
"In your hair it's freaky enough, but when it's on your head, you're violated!" -Tim, about walking through cobwebs with his shaved head |
"Organization is for wooses. It's for people who can't remember where stuff is." -Tim Toll |
"Yeah, but He's all everything, and I'm little weenie boy." -Tim Toll, re. how God created the world in 6 days, but Tim needs 9 to recode Netbase |
"None of this non-verbal disgustment..." -Tim Toll, as Patty rolls her eyes in frustration |
"I wasn't trying to be accurate, just ironic." -Tim Toll |
"Look... large body, small spaces... add it up." -Tim to Patty after accidently knocking over some of her tapes |
"If only I had his powerful blowing upper thing." -Tim, of God |
"The best of both worlds!" -Tim Toll, to a comment by Ken about making out during a baseball game |
"I struggled through the highlights" -Tim Toll, about Princess Dianna's funeral coverage |